My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself and the fact that I tihnk that I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You.

-Thomas Merton

Currently Reading Serve God, Save the Planet: A Christian Call to Action By J. Matthew, M.D. Sleeth see related

so today i told one of my bosses my engagement story.

i explained how joshua and i went to barnes and noble on one of our first dates and took hot chocolate so we could look at the stars after. it was cloudy and cold, so we ended up not doing it. well this past friday we decided to re-create the date and went to barnes and noble. afterwards we went to this field that we had been talking about having a picnic in and there was a blanket with candles all around. (i had no idea at this point- i'm thinking it's cold...candles make sense...).

we started talking about nature and creation and *somehow* the conversation turned into how much he appreciates me. he told me how much he had fallen in love with me over the last few months and that he wanted to continue falling in love with me for the rest of our lives. then he pulled out the ring, got on one knee (he knows i secretely love traditional) and asked me to marry him!

we decided to wait until my americorps service is over next summer and then we'll get married.

after telling my boss, i forgot to mention that it was all fake. even the ring i was wearing that day. he likes to pull pranks on everyone and has been giving me a hard time about being a single senior girl- so we pulled one on him! here's to you steve!

Currently Listening The Shepherd's Dog By Iron & Wine see related

so the problem with deciding on a job after graduation is that of too many possibilities. here's what i told the career development center when i went in for advice:

i like people. i want to help people. i need lots of money to pay off lots of debt.

these jobs don't exist (high paying jobs for helping people). well- almost. i'm looking into americorps, which gives you a living allowance, stipend, transportation and $4700 to apply to loans after a year. not bad. there are also a lot of other non-profit organizations that pay a little.

but moving to bolivia doesn't pay anything (monetary). neither does working for ijm. most human trafficking organizations only take entry-level people as interns.

i know- poor me. the middle-class white girl with an education and TOO MANY options. compared to the rest of the world, this should be luxury. but somehow that doesn't make the decision any easier....

i went to kansas city to meet joshua's AMAZING family this weekend. i recommend any college senior to spend a weekend with them. they make you think you can do anything. anything you want to do. seriously. it was so good for me. i feel like everything really is going to be ok. it'll work out. we'll graduate and live life and love people and learn. and now i'm excited! 

Currently Listening The Beatles 1 By The Beatles see related

for spring break, we decided to drive to lake jackson. it's only 45 minutes from houston and galveston, free stay with meals included (thanks to amy's aunt janice and uncle kyle) and a golden opportunity for a tan. it was wonderful. we watched a lot of intense reality tv, read a little and ate a lot. beautiful break.

the way back turned from a 9 hour drive to a 15 hour drive however. so things got a little crazy. melissa and i were (to say the least) delirious when we arrived back at home. every song we sung, person we saw and turnpike we missed turned into something HILARIOUS. given we are fairly funny people. we are not that funny.

now i'm at home. my sister-in-law is having her baby tomorrow! yeah for being an aunt again! i'm hanging out here until he pops out. maybe i'll even get some homework done.

i still have no idea what i'm doing with my life come may. please do not ask me. i've met my explanation quota this week. once i have an idea, i will write a new entry entitled "my future" or something catchy like that. but until then, note: i have no idea.